1130 Park Ave Apt 9A, NYC, April 2002
I took these with my point-and-shoot camera when I was 19, home on vacation from my senior year at boarding-school. My parents were planning to sell the apartment, and I was glad of it -- each room contained some unhappiness. But, I also felt deep nostalgia at each remnant of our shared time inhabiting the space. I had a relationship to the height of the apartment (9th floor), the elevator landing (painted like the Italian countryside), my lucid-dreams running up and down the 9 flights of stairs by the front and back elevators, the windows looking out over a presbyterian church to the north, and the low-rise brownstones leading up to Central Park two blocks west. I fixated on the layering up of experiences that leads to the tattering of objects, the variance between random markers of time passing (like a finger-print turning to a gray mark on the wall), and deliberate markers of our presence on and manipulation of our surroundings.
The last picture, of my brother's bookshelf, is the one I always return to. Perhaps five years later (after college), I noticed books by Langston Hughes and Octavia Buttler next to Caucasia next to an African mask. Had he arranged them purposefully or was it accidental? My mother chose our decorations. We chose our books. I moved to Los Angeles in 2008. Later, from 2012-2013, I worked for the writer Veronica Gonzalez, who was friends with the author of Caucasia, Danzy Senna. I had the picture taped to my studio-wall when I realized the coincidence. My whole body shook with the recognition. For years, I'd been seeking to supplant the hold of my childhood home with something new. When Veronica moved to New York in 2013, I helped her. Senna and her husband, Percival Everett, were moving to Los Angeles (he was starting a teaching position at USC), and Veronica would rent to them, at least for that first year. Veronica and I grew out of touch. But, despite the short duration of my time working for her, her world had sunk into my body as a counterpoint.
Maid's Room off the kitchen
Entrance Hall
Brother's desk
My bedroom, shared with my sister
Brother's bedroom
Parents' bedroom
Brother's bookshelf